Tonight, one of Sarah’s coworkers is hosting a wedding shower for her and two other coworkers that are also getting married. It’s a luau themed shower so I can only assume they are roasting a whole pig. Anyways, all of today’s quotes or movies feature Hawaii in some way.

1. Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?
2. I didn’t ask for a shrink – that must’ve been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn’t mine. Also, I’m wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don’t have a crying problem.
3. Sir, are you telling me that your only real flight time is at the controls of a video game?
4. I’m a people person, very personable. I absolutely insist on enjoying life. Not so task-oriented. Not a work horse. If you’re looking for a Clydesdale I’m probably not your man. Like I don’t live to work, it’s more the other way around. I work to live. Incidentally, what’s your policy on Columbus Day?
5. Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
6. His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone’s left shoe.
7. My shirt size is medium husky
8. My father left home when I was 5. That’s why I’m named Jack, as in, “Jack tell your mother I’m just going out to get the paper.”
9. Sir Galahad. You’re Sir Galahd, Don Juan, and Casanova all rolled into one.
10. Well, you can tell Lt. Dickinson from me, he couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.