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Wolves Recap

March 2nd, 2009 · 1 Comment

Mascots everywhere 

Mascots everywhere

I just finished reading the Strib recap of the Wolves game and it’s no wonder they also have an article about some suicide online chat room.  What’s with all the doom and gloom?  We don’t need that right now.  I’m more of a glass half full kind of guy.  Sometimes that means sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the bad stuff but let’s look at the positive side of things for a change (how un-Minnesotan of me).

Last night was Crunch’s 20th Birthday party and you would have thought you were at Flaming Lips concert or a furries convention there were so many mascots there.  A quick list of team mascots in the house: Twins, Vikings, Gophers, Lynx, Wild, Cavs, Pistons, Jazz, and Pacers.  This lead to several of the best commercial breaks all year.  

The first promotion they had was like old-skool American Gladiators Powerball.  Two teams of two fans each were dressed in sumo costumes.  Their goal was to get as many colored balls into the center bin.  The catch was that all the mascots were allowed to prevent them from doing so by any means necessary.  I saw tackles, clotheslines, and even a drop kick.  This needs to come back.

The next event was mascot bowling.  Great premise which fell apart in execution.  A mascot would sit on a gym class like scooter (flat plastic board with little castor wheels on the bottom) and then be sent via giant human (mascot) sling shot to the other end to knock down as many plastic garbage cans as possible.  TC took down 6 in his attempt and then Goldy rolled a doughnut when he fell immediately after being fired from the sling shot.  I hate the fact that the world has so many lawyers because it probably means they will never let regular fans do this.

At halftime, they had mascot trampoline dunking which can probably never go wrong.  For the grand finale, they said they were going to have Crunch step it up a notch and dunk over fire.  I had the image of Will Ferrell doing his mascot jump through the ring of fire in Old School for a minute.  This idea sounded awesome until the other mascots lined up right behind the trampoline holding up lighters.  Also at halftime, SELF and I moved down to the first floor for a much better view.  A friend had some open seats next to him so we sat in row B for the entire 2nd half.

You know when the mascots exchange their regular mascot outfits for those inflatable ones and then do all sorts of gags?  Yeah that one.  I thought it’s been a little played out but somehow my SELF had never seen it before so she was pretty psyched.  If one inflatable Crunch is funny, and then they add Stomper (he’s like the mini me of Crunch only less bitey), then 7 of those inflatable mascots is awesome.

For the UPS truck race, Mad Dog won for the 2nd time in the last 3 games I’ve been there so he’s gotta be pretty psyched about that.  It was his only appearance in the game but his UPS clutch rating nearly doubled in that short span.

I think the best part though was Crunch was surrounded by all the other mascots in the middle of the floor and then the dance team danced around them to some Birthday song.  Then it switched to a 7th grade dance with the guys on one side and the dance team on the other.  It was really awkward watching the dance team taunt/tease the mascots.  It’s one thing if you’re into furries but I feel dirty watching it happen.  Then the mascots took off their jerseys to reveal their own dance team leotard outfits and they brought it on, again.

If you read the comments at the Strib recap, it’s seriously depressing.  If you went to the game to be entertained then I say you got your money’s worth and you should stop your complaining.  Some might argue that it’s more about the game being played but those people just need to be tackled by a mascot and then they’ll know what entertainment really is.

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