Tonight, one of Sarah’s coworkers is hosting a wedding shower for her and two other coworkers that are also getting married. It’s a luau themed shower so I can only assume they are roasting a whole pig. Anyways, all of today’s quotes or movies feature Hawaii in some way.
- Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?
- I didn’t ask for a shrink – that must’ve been somebody else. Also, that pudding isn’t mine. Also, I’m wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning and I don’t have a crying problem.
- Sir, are you telling me that your only real flight time is at the controls of a video game?
- I’m a people person, very personable. I absolutely insist on enjoying life. Not so task-oriented. Not a work horse. If you’re looking for a Clydesdale I’m probably not your man. Like I don’t live to work, it’s more the other way around. I work to live. Incidentally, what’s your policy on Columbus Day?
- Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
- His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone’s left shoe.
- My shirt size is medium husky
- My father left home when I was 5. That’s why I’m named Jack, as in, “Jack tell your mother I’m just going out to get the paper.”
- Sir Galahad. You’re Sir Galahd, Don Juan, and Casanova all rolled into one.
- Well, you can tell Lt. Dickinson from me, he couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.
